well I can't set my house on fire every night
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize