Your dad touched me again.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
