I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
