So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
vagina is talking i cant
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
