I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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