How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
