Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
