i don't want you to think of me as your TA
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
