You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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