God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
