I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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