Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
This baby is an asshole
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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