On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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