Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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