bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
