Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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