I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
