hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
