drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
