god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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