rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
