I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
