Plan B is the new Plan A
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
