hotel room ftw
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
