I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
