Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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