soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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