Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
