The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize