at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
