There was a lot of him and a little penis
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
