I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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