Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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