i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
