I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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