I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
