how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
