I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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