Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
We need to rekindle our bromance
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
