you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
