my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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