dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
You can't just leave with hair like that
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Randomize
