This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
