but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
