It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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