He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
