I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
