Your face is a jimmy john
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize