Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
