I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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