I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
