are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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