We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
