you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
