I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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