So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
