just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
