WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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