evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
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